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With this knowledge of the dating scene, why would anyone allow their tween to start dating?

"Teenagers often wonder two things: how to date and what a healthy relationship is," says Jennifer Connolly, Ph D, Director of the La Marsh Centre for Research on Violence and Conflict Resolution at York University.

Long gone is the tradition where a boy phones a girl on Tuesday to ask her out for Saturday, picks her up at her house, meets the parents, pays for dinner and a show, and sees her home.

“That’s just in the movies,” says Brett, 14, of Aurora, Ont.

"But I didn't start dating until I was 18," says Mom. According to one survey, nearly half of teens between the ages of 11 to 14 years old are dating.

More and more parents are faced with this dilemma today.

These kids are "A" students and active in sports and the community.

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Groups can offer a safe, protective way for kids to learn.

But at the same time, parents need to discuss not going too far too fast.

"Parents should take an active role in teaching and helping their kids understand what normal dating behaviours are." By understanding what "healthy" dating is at this age, parents can set limits and protect their child.

At the end of the day, "it's better than saying they shouldn't date at all." "What is healthy is being in a group of boys and girls and transitioning from same-sex-only groups into groups in contact with the other sex," says Connolly.




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