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He was not only our wisest Founding Father, he was also our smoothest playboy.When Franklin fathered a whoreson bastard, that child grew up to be governor.When he issued legitimate progeny, a jealous God claimed the glorious baby for Himself.A few years ago, Laura Mickes was teaching her regular undergraduate class on childhood psychological disorders at the University of California, San Diego.' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything" ' 20.She says to a man next to her: 'The driver just insulted me! Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.'It also features risqué jokes about religion, anorexia - and animal cruelty. I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs. 'I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller", he said "Not you again".' 14. 'A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The bus driver says: 'Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!More questionable footage of Donald Trump making untoward comments has surfaced as the Republican presidential nominee struggles to recover from the fallout surrounding a leaked 2005 audio recording.

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(Major adversity, we smother in smoked meats.) Given three adjectives to describe me, most of my female friends would list “funny” as one of them.

Researchers scoured the web and examined more than 1,000 jokes before whittling them down to a final 50 on which 36,000 people voted.

In second place was a legendary one-liner about a zoo with just one dog being a 'shitzu'.

Other jokes to make the top 20 include a string of brilliant one-liners - and digs at wives, husbands, blondes and foreigners.

A quarter-century after his death comedy hero Tommy Cooper makes a strong showing in the list, which also includes gags by Peter Kay, Lee Evans and Canadian comic Stuart Francis.1. The bus driver says: 'Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!




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